Between trips to R. Kelly’s cool digs, Brotha Jeffrey Winick rapped rhapsodic about the current state of the USML race. “Give credit where and when it’s due,” wheezed Winick. “Shabes struck early and often, trading what he had for what he needed, giving it all he got, not stopping for breath and not choking when the air got thin…whereas the Red Hots made some small deals with the Rips to net second-tier talent and pitching stud Jose Contreras and the Klein-9 patched holes and whined about their injuries and other teams’ trades…yes, the Red Hots still have Felix the Cat and Sizemore and Klein still has Hansen, Peralta and Crisp–great, and that will get them 3rd and 4th place, maybe, some keepers for next year and a host of broken dreams.
“This season will be fight between the Nukes and the Angries, and that’s it. And I’m fine with it ending so early so I can spend more time on next season’s fantasy magazine. Now where’s that damned video camera….?!?”