“Klein”…. with apologies to the Five Man Electrical Band

[Brad Jansen]

To the tune of “Signs”

And the Klein said minor leaguer tradin’ people need not apply
So I put a brown cover on my prospect book and went in to ask him why
He said you look like a fine non-trading man, you know I think you’ll do
So I took out my Wood I said imagine that, huh, me not tradin’ with you

Chorus:

Klein Klein everywhere a Klein
Blocking out my trades and breaking my mind
Do this, don’t trade that, can’t you heed the Klein

And the Klein said anybody trading prospects would be shot on sight
So I drove down to Indy and yelled at his house, Hey! what gives you the right
To enact some dumb rule to freak me out and just so you could win
If Jeffrey was here, he’d tell you to your face, man you’re some kind of spinner

Repeat chorus

Bridge:

Now, hey you Riptorn! can’t you read, you got to have major leaguers to get a seat
You can’t even watch, no you can’t draft, you ain’t supposed to be here
Klein said you got to have major leaguers just to get inside–Uh!

And the Klein said everybody welcome, come in kneel down and pray
But when they collected for the stat service at the end of it all
He didn’t have a penny to pay, so I got me my Wood and my Gordon and I made up my own liitle sign
I said Praise Be to Jeffrey, my beans are alive and doin’ fine!

Repeat Chorus
Repeat Chorus

[Author]

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