Minutes from Today’s Meeting

[Mark Blocker]

Gang:

For all of the downtown USMLers, today was a big event: the Winick Magazine signing! Four league members now have highly valuable, much-sought-after autographed copies of the Fantasy Baseball Guide. This signature alone will surely propel one of us to victory. If you were not able to make today’s event, I reproduce below the minutes of the meeting that followed the signing.

1. It was universally agreed that the trade in which the Bombers acquired Matt Wieters (a Winick pick) was an excellent one for all sides. Klein phoned in his agreement in abstentia.

2. League members wondered silently if new member Dennis Adams, who attended, was even alive when the USML was started in 1989.

3. Those in attendance agreed not to formulate retention rosters until Brad circulates full lists for all teams.

4. The assembled crowd wonder what Doug Shabelman is up to and whether he will be attending the draft live or via (curiously noisy) phone call.

5. I believe an Elijah Dukes fan club is forming…get your charter memberships now.

6. Fond memories of Mike Rogers, a co-owner of the Riptorns when they were actually competitive.

That is all.

[Richard Robbins]

Mr. Secretary,

Should the minutes reflect the Ryan Braun discussion? What about the discussion concerning Kerber that was abruptly ended when Kerber decided to grace us with his presence?

— KR

[Dennis Adams]

To answer the lingering question…. I was in fact born. I was a sprite 4 year old as I was born in 1985. I think the psychological warfare advantage is firmly in my court now by disclosing that.

[Richard Robbins]

Don’t we have a recently adopted but not yet codified rule prohibiting an owner from drafting any player that is older than that owner is?

[Mark Kerber]

Should we report the part about Winick trading his entire roster for Yu, or were you going to wait for the Hot Wax Seal?

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