Reserve This

[Mark Blocker]

Brad:

Can you still even hype Clay Buchholz with a straight face? Didn’t he have a ratio of 1.76 this past season?

In fact, your e-mail is a sort of trifecta of overhype. Look at these ratios: Buchholz (1.76), Hughes (1.71), and Bonser (1.48). If I pick up Brien Taylor and Todd Van Poppel, can I trade them for all three guys?

— Mark B.

[Brad Jansen]

Dear Chairman Mark “Bernanke” Blocker:

With your academic grasp of the numbers, you make interesting but incomplete points. You must consider the athletes’ youth, their potential and recent growth trends. As someone who trumpeted all season long the merits of Tim Beckham, David Price, Joba Chamberlain and Brian Matusz, one would think you of all owners would be somewhat sympathetic to the bumps and bruises that come with talented young players. And with respect to Clay Buchholz, none other than roto expert Jeffrey Winick can attest to his brilliant showing in the just-completed AFL. At 5/y1, he remains a serious candidate for slotting on someone’s roster, if not yours (as does Phil Hughes, 5/y2, well recovered from in-season ailments; as for Boof, I really was kidding, but I appreciate your statistical analysis nonetheless).

As you know, I am not one for prognostications, but you can take this to the bank: the Rips will finish in the money next year, even if you conduct the draft in an undisclosed location without me.

Securitized,
Brad Lee

[Mark Blocker]

Dear Brad “General Motors” Jansen:

I will not give you a bailout to rescue your bankrupt comparisons. The difference between the prospects that reside on my team and the ones you have been hyping liking a Lil Wayne CD are that mine have not experienced a season of utter dismality (its a Colbert word; look it up). Here are some examples. Joba Chamberlain has posted consecutive excellent years, including a 2.60 ERA/1.26 ratio supported by more than a strikeout per inning. David Price also posted stellar numbers in an admittedly abbreviated major league campaign: 1.93 ERA and 0.93 ratio with close to 1K per inning. And our very own roto pundit Jeff Winick has already extolled the virtues of the mature Brian Matusz. And you did not even mention Matt Wieters!

So drive yourself back to Riptorn Central and stop bothering me with your vacant statistcal comparisons and needless attempts to pump-and-dump your young players.

Not A Congressman,

Mark B.

[Author]

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