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Jeff WinickParticipant
B is for Bulletin Board material for the Berliners.
More to follow….
Jeff WinickParticipantPer your request:
Jeff WinickParticipantA couple of follow-up points, Professor.
#1 – The Braden loss hurts, but ARod will be fine and the Gutierrez problems were already factored into the projection.
#2 – The Calamari just lost Nathan as a closer today, so I wouldn’t be too bullish on their chances. And as far as Jim having the best players, I beg to differ. The Klein Nine offense smokes the Calamari offense as does the Red Hots offense. And the Klein Nine have 1 1/2 – 2 closers to the Calamari’s none – 1/2.
#3 – The Shandler software does, in fact, show the Berliners having the best team, but this year’s projections like every other year’s projections only uses that information as a component of the overall analysis.
#4 – Though I doubt you will take heed, you might want to re-read the first sentence of my analysis of the Klein Nine. It would appear that you are unable to move on from last year’s disappointment. That is sure to lead to another year of disappointment.
That is all.
The King
Jeff WinickParticipantRich,
I’m leaving for Jerusalem tomorrow. I think there’s a message here.
Shabbat shalom!Jeff WinickParticipant“I’ll take care of Rich”. In the same way that the snake “takes care” of the mouse. I imagine that is exactly what Mark has in mind. Rich, I’m much more interested in helping you. I’ll be in touch.
Jeff
Jeff WinickParticipantThe thought of concession, let alone to the Bombers, has always have been
and always will be sacrilegious. No song here, guys….just some facts to
chew on.Sure, the Little Ripper’s got a nice lead on the field. But its May 14th
for heaven’s sake. Not to pick at an old wound, but the Hoosier Daddies
enjoyed a considerably more commanding lead well into August a few years ago
and we all know who got the last “laffey” that year. Heck, if no one among
you is man enough to make a run at the Bombers, I’m half tempted to reverse
engines a la the Big Rippers and come after him myself.Lets take a closer look, shall we?
This is an offense that has only one superstar hitter in Kinsler. The rest
of the offense is built around guys like Garko, Aybar, Figgins, Rivera,
Ordonez, Wells, Scott, Rolen, Kendrick. Are you kidding me? And there is a
suggestion that everyone should just step aside and allow him to accede to
the throne. Just for kicks, take a look at the total number of DL days for
Figgins, Rivera, Ordonez, Wells, Martinez, Scott and Rolen the last 3
years. ’nuff said.I’ll admit that the pitching looks good on the surface. But look a little
closer. Galarraga’s ERA is now up past 4.6. Burnett’s ERA has been
climbing steadily and now exceeds 5.3 and he’s on a Yankees team that looks
like a disaster waiting to happen. Bedard has been great but is already
complaining about how his arm feels. The King might finally be coming
around, but with that pen behind him and that team (not) putting up runs for
him, there won’t be many wins. I’ll admit that Garza looks great. In fact,
he’s looking like a nice keeper at 15. But he’ll not nearly enough to
support a wire to wire victory. Joba has been decidely ordinary (1.55
WHIP) and looks like a guy that would be better off closing games than
starting them. Another pain in Mariano’s elbow and the next thing you know,
Mr. B finds himself even deeper in closers. And speaking of
closers….Morrow blows another one today (taking a win away from King Felix
in the process), Francisco is ailing and Andrew Bailey is…well….Andrew
Bailey. And don’t even get me started on the clown with the dead squirel
hanging from his chin.The bottom line is that the Little Rippers haven’t yet been pushed. There
hasn’t been any of the consolidation of talent that has marked the last few
years of our league’s history. If the Nukes really are throwing in the
towel, there is enough talent on that team alone to push Buddha, the Big
Ripper or the Calamari to a title. And both the Hoosiers and the Red Hots
still have plenty of talent to move around themselves. If David Price nets
King Felix and Matt Garza, what is Evan Longoria worth? Hard to imagine,
but I’m eager to find out.The year has only just begun. As I see it, at the very minimum, the Little
Rippers have a few more keepers that they should be compelled to move. If
the season ends with a Little Ripper title and the likes of Joba, Morrow,
Francisco, Garza and Masterson still on their roster, we should all be
ashamed of ourselves.Now get out there and make it interesting. Otherwise, come June 1, I’ll be
entertaining offers for my beansThat is all.
TOeFuKi
Jeff WinickParticipantOooh, oooh….me first.
Cuz Rich doesn’t sell beans. He plants them and watches them and watches them and watches them. Rich loves his beans like children, its Brad Lee that treats them like pieces of meat.
Jeff
Jeff WinickParticipantLet’s not get too caught up in ourselves, huh Mr. Brad Lee. Do you really think its fair to PT/KR to proclaim that I exist solely to torment YOU?
Jeff
Jeff WinickParticipantAndy,
What did I tell you? Try as he might, Rich can’t mask his NEED to reacquire a former Red Hot prospect, particularly one who was batting .290+ with a near .390 OBP before the fisticuffs.
That is all.
Jeffrey Winick
DUMPJeff WinickParticipantAndy,
And that is why a DUMP membership is the vastly superior option. We at DUMP pride ourselves on offering all the services a dude who uses minor league prospects requires. COPS underestimates the informational needs of an effective dumper/dumpee. A true minor league aficionado, like, for example, Rich Robbins, will use this information to retrieve his former prospect at a discount.
Gentlemen – we’re still accepting applications. Hurry on in before the charter membership discount period ends.
Jeff Winick
DUMPJeff WinickParticipantYou’ll all be pleased to know that whatever was ailing Mr. Sizemore seems to have cleared up (at least temporarily). He’s leading off for the Indians as we speak.
Rich, if I were you, I’d move him quickly before anyone learns about this soreness in his obliques. It could really diminish his trade value.
Jeff
Jeff WinickParticipantDoug,
I’m afraid you’re too late. Just prior to receiving your most recent request, this came down from the mountain:
The application of the AYM for membership in DUMP is hereby denied. This is a man who has been shown the tassels and yet walked away. He’s not worthy of being in the presence of my Putz or my comrade, Mr. Winick’s Wood.
So, I’m sorry, you can’t quit. You’ve been fired.
That is all.
Jeff Winick
Social Secretary, DUMPJeff WinickParticipantThis just in from The Man, himself:
I approve wholeheartedly of Rich Robbins’ application for DUMP membership. Recognized as the pre-eminent connoisseur of minor league prospects and one of the great dumpees in the grand history of our league – he is a welcome, nigh, essential member of DUMP. Welcome my friend!!
Congratulations, Rich.
Jeff Winick
Social Secretary, DUMPJeff WinickParticipantRich,
I’ll have to confer with Brad Lee, who, not surprisingly, has final decision making authority with respect to all official DUMP business, but you will have my strongest recommendation.
Jeff
Jeff WinickParticipantPT,
That deft misdirection play is nearly the clincher to get your moniker changed to KR. In the face of compelling evidence regarding your performance over the last 11 years and concrete proof that you misrepresented how many times that you had finished 5th (3 out of the last 6 years), you keep pounding away, undeterred. Bravo!
So, notwithstanding the fact that Joey Gathright was sent down yesterday, thus making my “Monster-Talent” reference perfectly timely, I do promise to throw a few new themes your way. Heaven knows there’s plenty of ground to mine.
That is all.
Jeff Winick
Published Fantasy Expert
Ron Shandler’s Attorney
Got “Good Wood” -
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