[USML Announce] The Coventional Winick: Hoosier Daddies Poised For Triumphant Return to The Top

[Brad Jansen]

>From the mind of Jeffrey Winick:
   Greetings, all, and happy holidays to your and yours.  Thanksgiving came
early for the H-Dads, when the BoSox successfully acquired the rights to
negotiate with Japanese superstar D. Matusuzaka.  The years of burying this
fellow on the Daddies' reserve roster now will pay off handsomely as the
twirler is secured for the unbelievably low salary of $2.  Add that type of
value to the likes of Justin Verlander ($2), Jon Pabelbon ($5/y2--what will
happen to *that *contract, I wonder), Tim Wakefield ($4) and the Dads go
into the draft with one of the best valued staffs ever assembled in this
League.  Given the lemming-like nature of our owners, this clever scribe
foresees much action on the foreign front in the rotation draft as teams
scramble to, pardon the expression, bone up on overseas talent, especially
in Japan.  Let bitter nationalists like Professor Klein attack our efforts,
but at least in Gammons' case I expect that in 2007 he will be rewarded
quite handsomely for his patience and expertise in the ways of Japanese
baseball.
   In light of the undervalued pitching the Dads have assembled, that team
will be poised to spend big bucks on other areas of need in the auction.
But there are several other nice potential keepers on that sqaud: Curtis
Granderson ($1/y-2), Ian Kinsler ($5/y1), Ryan Garko ($6/y1), Trot Nixon
($7/y1), Kevin Youkilis ($11/y1), and B.J. Upton ($14/y1), along with
exciting prospects like Adam Lind, Tom Diamond, Matt Moses, Jeff Bianchi and
Brent Clevlen.
    This roster represents what rebuilding is all about: as the Dads got off
to a rocky start in '06, they moved at the right time and secured talent
like Granderson and Verlander from teams fighting for first place.  Or was
it just one team fighting for 1st place that traded all that talent to the
Dads?  Forgive me, it's been awhile and I've had some egg nog for lunch. For
the Dads' masterly moves I remove my fuzzy mittens and applaud them.  And
remember these cautionary words of warning: the Dads, if allowed to dominate
the draft, will be in 1st place from pillar to post in 07.

   The floor is now open to debate, if any of you dare challenge my findings
and conclusions.  And that most certainly is not all.....
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