[USML Announce] Nevin, My Love: Klein Nine Stagger Again

[Brad Jansen]

The latest news for the K-9 isn't good: Jason Botts (Flaming Brats, $5,
Andy, in case you're looking to dump) will soon be recalled to replace the
woeful Phil Nevin, a player who Klein described two weeks ago as someone
whose jock strap  --Jeffery, is that one or two words, I get confused?-- Jim
Thome was "not qualified" to carry.

"It's sad, but all true," bemoaned the bedraggled Klein.  "I was thisclose
to a Big Deal with the Rips, one that involved Jim Thome.  I told Brad Lee
that Thome's numbers weren't appreciably better than Nevin's.  What can I
say?  I ended up trading Donnie Murphy for Rodrigo Lopez.  Yes, my roster is
more ethnically diversified, but I'm still stuck with that punchless Nevin,
Brad still has Thome, and now I must watch Corey Patterson suck the
lifeblood out of my team's batting average."

"That team is an unmitigated disaster," opined Jeff Winick. "I'm glad so
glad I'm on the sidelines with all this, but I am perturbed that I picked
the K-9 team to finish first.  Next time Klein better buy one of my
publications because this man lacks serious qualifications to field a
contender. And that is not all!"
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