[USML Announce] The Conventional Winick: Extending Condolences--Who Is Getting Long-Termed This Season

[Brad Jansen]

The grieving Jeff Winick, stung by the news that Zsa Zsa Gabor's "prince" of
a husband now claims to have squired the late Anna Nicole's kid, did take a
moment to opine on the latest Hot Stove Intrigue:

(Dictated but not proofread by the Master):
    Other than my trades with the Riptorns, nothing causes more heartburn
among USML owners that the annual anguish of determining which y-2 player
gets a long-term contract and who will freed at last after this season.
     Today's observation focuses only on those players, with a sharp eye on
undervalued talent, with my usual sanguine commentary, as well as the
occasional helpful suggestion.  Let's take it team-by-team:

AYM: Emil Brown clocks in at $8, but why extend when he'll likely ride the
pines  for  KC later this season...who knows where he'll be traded.  I say
keep him at $8 and ditto for Kenny Rogers, a huge success at $1, and no need
to get burned when luck expires, as it always does for gamblers.
   Bombers:  Swisher's at 2; he'll be at 12 come auction day if Blocker has
read anything I've written about this blossoming power.   But  can't do
Cantu when he's already at 10, no way...

   Burnt Weiners: if either Kotchman (4) or Kendry (1) nails 1B/DH gig,
gotta extend.  Way too much upside for the low price and high reward...and
oye oye, what do with Ervin Santana at 2?  At least one year more, please!
And Johnny Gomes at 2? Let's see how's he feeling before we start
dealing....

  Hoosier Second Place Team in '07 After The Berliners?: Granderson goes
from 1 to 11,  although with some trepidation...now Papelbon will easily go
5 to 15, I have little doubt...Wakefield stays at 4 and Rick will be happy
about it...

  Klein 9: Bedard will get bumped form 3 to 8, maybe...we know how
conservative this fellow Klein can be.

  Great Lakes Fish: Jenks rockets from 1 to 11, thank heaven...

  Red Hots:  Ah, my favorite, King Felix--what's a lad to do?  My sources,
always reliable, tell me the Red Hots intend to be players this year (well,
don't they always), so I expect just a one-year bump to 10...Chris Ray of
Light, however, will get 2 more years so he'll go to 15, the Street will get
one more year to go 15....and Chad Orvella at 2?  Likely traded to the Rips
shortly after this publishes...

  Nukes: no one worthy of extension

  Pubs:  Cano sure can, and he'll do it at 15 this year, courtesy of a
2-year kick by the Buddha, who may tack one add'l year on to Jose Lopez
(from 7 to 12) and that's it.

  Riptorns: no one worthy of extension

  Winick Berliners:  Baldelli will go from 3 to 13, I promise you that, dark
princes, and I'll ride that mount to 1st place from pillar to post.  You
read it first here, and you'll keep reading it so long as there's a breath
emitting from my swollen, bloated torso.

So, that's all.  Now wait and see how right I am, boys. Me, I'm waiting for
a certain autopsy report. Ta ta!!
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