[USML Announce] Casilla Later! Twins New Second Sacker Promises SBs Aplenty for Joyous Rips

[springkerb at aol.com]

No doubt this guy hits for high average and has terrific on-base 
skills.  How about sharing his minor league stats, Brad, so we can all 
get a look at the next Ricky Henderson?

Mark


-----Original Message-----
From: Brad Jansen <bljansen at gmail.com>
To: USML Announcements <announce at usml.net>
Sent: Mon, 30 Jul 2007 7:04 pm
Subject: [USML Announce] Casilla Later! Twins New Second Sacker 
Promises SBs Aplenty for Joyous Rips






While the K-9 fret over the loss of Mark Texeiera and now must consider 
new rapid-fire dump strategies before the trade deadline, and while the 
Berliners? regain their? mojo? in? the Quest? for? Second, and while 
the Nukes ponder exactly why and what happened to Dukes and Dotel, the 
Rips popped the bubbly in celebration of the Luis Castillo trade to the 
Mets.


"We're not happy that a fellow USML owner lost a player to the NL.? 
Indeed such news never brings us joy, but we're quite delighted that 
Twins uber-prospect Alexi Casilla will now be able to get his legs wet 
a bit in the bigs this season," exclaimed the always chirpy Riptorns 
CEO Brad Jansen.? "Many thought the key to the Rips-Daddies blockbuster 
deal was getting Dice K away from the Gams Man.? Not quite. Because for 
my hard-earned money, the deal went down due to Alexi.? This kid has 
speed to burn...he's like Scotty Pods except (a) he's only $5, (b)he 
plays second base, (c)? he stays healthy and (d) he is not yet married 
to a Playmate.? We're quite excited this day."


League financial analyst and social critic Jeffrey Winick concurred.? 
"Of all the garbage strewn about in these damnable dump trades this 
season, the Casilla acquisition very well may represent the best return 
on investment.?? In quantifiable terms some of you may understand, the 
young second sacker is a 'keeper' at $5 and I estimate a plus $20 
return next year, and that's if he steals only 20 bags.? Fifty is far 
more likely according to the profiles I've read. In fact I think he's 
already stolen two bases as I dictated these thoughts to my assistant.


"So Kudos to Brad Lee.? He's an asswipe, no doubt, but he knows how to 
use that toilet paper.? And that's what's it all about, compadres."? ? 
??????






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