[USML Announce] A Pulitzer For Jeffrey?

Fri Jan 23 07:20:43 EST 2009

Ah yes.Feb. 22 Kerbs turns the Big 5-0.if you want some roto gifts to gear
up for 2010, let me know.

-- Mark B.

  _____  

From: announce-bounces at usml.net [mailto:announce-bounces at usml.net] On Behalf
Of springkerb at aol.com
Sent: Thursday, January 22, 2009 10:04 PM
To: announce at usml.net
Subject: Re: [USML Announce] A Pulitzer For Jeffrey?

I'm planning to celebrate my half century on this planet this year by
whuppin' all your butts.

Bring.  It.  On.  (Oh, wait, that slogan didn't work out so well, did it?)

Mark

-----Original Message-----
From: jhwinick at aol.com
To: announce at usml.net
Sent: Thu, 22 Jan 2009 2:17 pm
Subject: Re: [USML Announce] A Pulitzer For Jeffrey?

Mr. B.,

Nothing would give me greater pleasure (or be of greater surprise) than to
have the honor of providing you with an appropriate moniker upon a long
(very, very long) overdue crown.  So many possibilities come to mind.....

Glad you chose to include that last letter.  Remember your family values, if
only for Buddha's sake.

And thank you as well for the good wishes on my restored fitness.  I'll do
my best to stick around for a long time.  Given your objective, I figure
I'll need at least another 30-40 years.

Jeff 

-----Original Message-----
From: Blocker, Mark B. <mblocker at Sidley.com>
To: USML Announcements <announce at usml.net>
Sent: Thu, 22 Jan 2009 3:19 pm
Subject: RE: [USML Announce] A Pulitzer For Jeffrey?

Toefuki:

  It is a distinct honor to have bestowed your new name upon you.  I toyed
with some variations on that name (such as leaving off the last letter), but
I decided this was the most appropriate way to honor the memory of your
already-passed-on, Bush-era crown.  I will allow you to come up with an
appropriate name for me after the Bombers are crowned champions in October.

  However, I must demur on the photo.  I have never been big on poking fun
at the picture (although I may have partaken) and do not think I coined that
as a common refrain; I think that is Klein territory.  I have seen the new
svelte Winick, and find it inspirational that you gotten yourself back to
the fit version of you.  It will allow you to live longer, which gives me
many more opportunities down the road to best you at roto.

  -- Mark B.

  _____  

From: announce-bounces at usml.net [mailto:announce-bounces at usml.net
<mailto:announce-bounces at usml.net?> ] On Behalf Of jhwinick at aol.com
Sent: Thursday, January 22, 2009 3:00 PM
To: announce at usml.net
Subject: Re: [USML Announce] A Pulitzer For Jeffrey?

Brad Lee,

It appears to be your literary genius that is worthy of praise rather than
my own.  The consonance in "tattooed tower of trouble" is beautiful.  Of
course, it belongs to you, not me.  I don't believe I commented on Mr.
Hamilton at all.  The same is true of Sherrill.  And while I did address
Wood, my comments were more detailed and, not surprisingly, far more
glowing.  Since you got things right for Verlander, it is clear that you
bought the magazine and I thank you for that.

To Mr. Klein, I express my heartfelt disappointment that the Klein reference
was once again cut.  I'm afraid that I have yet to find a way to weave you
into a comment that isn't inscrutible to everyone but those on this mailing
list.  In the meantime, you still have Alex P's autograph that I brought you
back from Arizona a few years ago.  That will have to suffice until I try
once again next year.

To Mr. Blocker, I'm sure you'll be pleased to note that they failed to
replace my caricature, so its still Jaba the Hut next to my name.  More
importantly, if I haven't yet said so, thank you for coming up with TOeFuKi.
Not only does it save a few keystrokes, but its fun to say.  And you must
know how much it means to me that you're willing to acknowledge my status.
Truly humbling.

And by the way, does anyone know of a spam filter that will prevent me from
ever again having to read an email with the words Brad Jansen, Jessica Biel
and Mrs. Hand in the same paragraph?  

That is all.

TOeFuKi

-----Original Message-----
From: Brad Jansen <bljansen at gmail.com>
To: USML Announcements <announce at usml.net>
Sent: Thu, 22 Jan 2009 1:03 pm
Subject: [USML Announce] A Pulitzer For Jeffrey?

Ricky G, I have no idea what you sent cos my firewalls always spam yer stuff
but I'm breathless cos I just picked up my oh-nine edition of Fantasy
Baseball Guide and I gotta say, Jeffrey, it was a choice between Maxim and
your mag and all I can say is Jessica Biel is just gonna have to wait for
Mrs. Hand and who cares about  your picture when you write as pretty as you
do....if the Pulitzer Prize Committee establishes an award in the
non-fiction category for fantasy baseball my gawd your the first one
canonized I swear....your words, your analysis, your insight....about Josh
Hamilton, Lord Jeffrey says: "No price is too high for this tattooed tower
of trouble...."     About George Sherrill he muses, "This lefty twirler last
year closed the door on those who doubted his ability to amass saves...bid
early and bid heavy."   When it comes to Justin Verlander, he opines,
"Expect a return to prom inence for the Tigers and their ace." (So that's
cool cos we get baseball team standings projected for us, too)..... And of
course there's Brandon Wood: "Go get this guy."  It's terse, yet poignant. I
laughed, I cried, I'm never going to stop reading this.

Next year Jeff will try writing his analysis in haiku.  I've already
pre-ordered.

Brad The Breathless

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