[USML Announce] Jemile Weeks In Review

[Brad Jansen]

*FLAMING BRATS: *Quietly acquired the major league's most feared slugger
and AL's most dominant starting pitcher, among other chips, without having
to trade top prospect D'Arnaud. The only question*: CAN THE BRATS SIZZLE
ALL SUMMER?*

*NUKES*: Makes season's boldest move by trading Konerko for Haren, but does
trading with the competition do anything but guranty *MUTUALLY ASSURED
DESTRUCTION?*
**
*BERLINERS: *Another reporting period passes without a major deal to
bolster team's pennant drive....is it time *TO FEED THE CAGED BEAST?*
**
*LAKE MICHIGAN CALAMARI: *Pitching depth permits trade of Haren for badly
needed power, but *CAN COLON CARRY THE LOAD?   *
**
*BLOCK'S BOMBERS: *Bombastic offense helps team claw its way to fifth but a
pitching staff anchored by Humber, Floyd and Quintana is *ABOUT TO IMPLODE.*
**
*HOOSIER DADDIES: * Atop the league in saves, team peddles Rodney for
offense. Can the Berliners or Nukes afford to *SAY NO?*
**
*ANGRY YOUNG MEN: *Points continue to fall as *THIS BYRD HAS FLOWN.*
**
*MIGHTY RED HOTS: *No comments during *PENDING INVESTIGATION.*
**
*KLEIN NINE: *Moved quickly to sell Sale....plenty other prizes to parse
out as *TEAM NOW IN THE DUMPS.*
**
*RIPTORNS: *Awaiting further moves by Klein Nine to bolster hope for 9th
place finish *AS THE DARK KNIGHT RETURNS!*
**
*ADAMS FAMILY VALUES: *A single point in each offensive category--but 10
points in BA! *WHAT'S WITH THAT? *
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