[USML Announce] Balfour Grants Riptorns' Wish

[springkerb at aol.com]

I like the use of "surely" in the same sentence as "might."



-----Original Message-----
From: jhwinick at aol.com
To: announce <announce at usml.net>
Sent: Thu, Feb 14, 2013 11:22 am
Subject: Re: [USML Announce] Balfour Grants Riptorns' Wish



Putting aside that Balfour will still be ready for opening day, it doesn't change the fact that young Ryan Cook, not unlike his doppelganger Addison Reed, doesn't throw enough strikes (no matter how much heat) to get the job done.

On a more useful note than the jive talk from Brad Lee I offer the following:

Baseball America's Prospect Handbook was released today. Here are the #1 Prospects for each AL team:

Baltimore - Dylan Bundy (Riptorns - but did I mention that his contract was running?)

Boston - Xander Bogaerts (Riptorns)

Chicago - Courtney Hawkins (Free Agent)

Cleveland - Francisco Lindor (Berliners)

Detroit - Nick Castellanos (Klein Nine)

Houston - Carlos Correa (Hoosiers)

Kansas City - Kyle Zimmer (Free Agent)

Los Angeles - Caleb Cowart (Adams)

Minnesota - Miguel Sano (Riptorns)

New York - Mason Williams (Riptorns)

Oakland - Addison Russell (Free Agent)

Seattle - Mike Zunino (Free Agent)

Tampa Bay - Wil Myers (Riptorns)

Texas - Jurickson Profar (Calamari)

Toronto - Aaron Sanchez (Actually #3 - 1 and 2 were traded to the Mets)(Red Hots)

5 Riptorns! That surely means that the Riptorns might be relevant again by 2016. 

Jeff

-----Original Message-----

From: Brad Jansen <bljansen at gmail.com>

To: USML Announcements <announce at usml.net>

Sent: Thu, Feb 14, 2013 12:32 pm

Subject: [USML Announce] Balfour Grants Riptorns' Wish

ITEM
A's right-hander Grant Balfour is scheduled to undergo right knee surgery to 
repair a torn meniscus Thursday afternoon, leaving Oakland without its closer 
for approximately four to six weeks.

LOSER

Berliners. Spurned in off-seasoneffortstotradefringe closer Grant Balfour, Berliners were banking on him to anchor 2013 bullpen. With the closer's career injeopardy cold-hearted Winick now WILL CUT THE CORD.

WINNER

Riptorns. Flamethrower Ryan Cook (5) will regain 9th-inning role and will not relinquish it this time around. Rippers now wait for Mariano Rivera to announce plans so they can decide how long to extend David Robertson's contract as team's FOUNDATION IS SETTLING.

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