<!DOCTYPE HTML PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 3.2//EN">
<HTML>
<HEAD>
<META HTTP-EQUIV="Content-Type" CONTENT="text/html; charset=utf-8">
<META NAME="Generator" CONTENT="MS Exchange Server version 6.5.7654.12">
<TITLE></TITLE>
</HEAD>
<BODY>
<!-- Converted from text/plain format -->
<P><FONT SIZE=2>Unreal.<BR>
<BR>
<BR>
Doug Shabelman, President<BR>
Burns Entertainment & Sports Marketing, Inc.<BR>
(847)866-9400 (office)<BR>
(773)269-9732 (mobile)<BR>
<BR>
<BR>
<BR>
----- Original Message -----<BR>
From: announce-bounces@usml.net <announce-bounces@usml.net><BR>
To: USML Announcements <announce@usml.net><BR>
Sent: Thu Mar 24 10:27:47 2011<BR>
Subject: [USML Announce] Winick Announces This Year's Jeffrey Award Nominees<BR>
<BR>
NOTE: The following message was dictated but not proofread by 2010<BR>
USML Champion Jeffrey Winick:<BR>
<BR>
In today's flagging economy, it's important for every consumer to<BR>
recognize and obtain value. So I think we need to spend a bit more<BR>
time acknowledging owners who tried to get value at the draft. Since<BR>
my roto skills have been widely acknowledged by any number of experts,<BR>
I am best suited to evaluate these efforts. Accordingly, I announce<BR>
the Jeffrey Award, which I shall present annually at the end of each<BR>
baseball season to the team that drafted the most profitable player.<BR>
Richard Robbins, I commission you to draft the appropriate amendment<BR>
to our Constitution. I list my nominees below and note for the record<BR>
that the players must be seen in the context of their owners' rosters,<BR>
not necessarily compared to the USML as a Whole. I also do not<BR>
suggest, predict or opine whether any of these players shall become<BR>
superstars. My sole object is to offer my view that in 2011 these<BR>
drafted players provide the greatest opportunity to reward their<BR>
owners with the most profit.<BR>
<BR>
Let me begin:<BR>
<BR>
Bombers: Dear me, I must remember not to confuse "value" with "cheap."<BR>
But I'll hold my nose and suggest that Brent Morel at $6 may earn a<BR>
modest profit for this bankrupt squad.<BR>
<BR>
Klein Nine: One wishes he could even hint at finding value among the<BR>
cheap starting pitching dominated by the likes of Burnett, Dice K and<BR>
Arrierta but I am too wise and risk averse. I would be a fool not to<BR>
nominate David Ortiz at $1. And you were fools for letting Klein get<BR>
away with that. But I promise each of you that I shall remember this<BR>
moment of skulduggery when I determine who is most worthy of receiving<BR>
an award that bears my name.<BR>
<BR>
Nukes: As much as I would love to nominate Scotty Pods at $1 just<BR>
because he's so cute, my less baser instincts compel me to give a nod<BR>
to Wilson Betemit at $1. He's the right age, on the right team, and<BR>
bought at the right price.<BR>
<BR>
Hoosier Daddies: As easy as it would be to pick Ramon Castro at $2 (or<BR>
Chris Archer at $1, but remember, readers, I seek 2011 profitability)<BR>
I must go on a limb and select Fausto Carmona at $5. That selection<BR>
may say more about the Dads' cheap players than Carmona's prospects,<BR>
however....<BR>
<BR>
Mighty Red Hots: Dare I say those two words that have tormented Brad<BR>
Lee Jansen all these years: Alex Gordon? But at $5 and with the fans'<BR>
focus on other prospects, the not so young anymore Alex could finally<BR>
put some value on the board.<BR>
<BR>
Riptorns: How I love Dayan Viciedo at $1, but alas, will he earn a<BR>
profit this year? Only in a dump deal for Cano. My eyes can't help but<BR>
remain fixated on the fleet-footed Peter Bourjos at $11. The upside is<BR>
enormous, even at that fair price, my loyal subjects.<BR>
<BR>
Lake Michigan Calamari: Jed Lowrie at $5. When Scutaro is your only<BR>
competition.....And do not forget Chris Carter at $3--why shouldn't he<BR>
bash his way on to that weak hitting A's roster? Two Steals of the<BR>
Draft. But if I must pick one, I'll nominate Lowrie.<BR>
<BR>
Angry Young Men: Lorenzo Cain at $6. A literal steal. Same price as<BR>
Red Hots utility bat/3rd catcher Yorvit Torrealba, Enough said.<BR>
<BR>
Flaming Brats: If Neftali Feliz heads to the Rangers rotation, then<BR>
Brats have rustled up a winner in Ogando at $6. Yee-ha!<BR>
<BR>
Berliners: Of course, I can win my own prize. I have so many<BR>
undervalued draftees my head spins. But I'll indulge you and pick just<BR>
one: Ivan Nova. 15 wins for $2. Book it, baby.<BR>
<BR>
That is all for now.<BR>
Lord Jeffrey<BR>
_______________________________________________<BR>
announce mailing list<BR>
announce@usml.net<BR>
<A HREF="http://lists.usml.net/mailman/listinfo/announce">http://lists.usml.net/mailman/listinfo/announce</A><BR>
</FONT>
</P>
</BODY>
</HTML>