An Open Letter to Andy Klein

[Brad Jansen]

Dear Professor Klein:

Please call upon your prowress at comparative roto analysis and discuss the performances this season of Jhonny Peralta and Nick Swisher. Explain why one has more value than other and why one should have been taken in a trade by now and not the other. Limit your essay to less than 1000 words and do not use the word “Blocker” more than 20 times.

You have 15 minutes. Begin.

Regards,

Brad Jansen, Chairman
DUMP Steering Committee

[Andy Klein]

The relevant comparison is Coco Crisp. And if you can’t figure out why he’s more valuable than Nick Swisher, no essay is going to help you.

-Andy

[Brad Jansen]

Please don’t employ the rhetorical gimmick of changing the issue because of your inability to answer the question posed. You either can or Cantu the assignment. We’re waiting, all of us.

[John Fruit]

I need to step in in defense of my good friend Andy. What you insinuate is based on pure hindsight of Peralta’s subpar year, no doubt which has been disappointing to the good professor. But we’re all guilty, or why else would I have retained Dan Johnson or Russ Adams? Or why would someone else choose Nook Logan in the $10 rotation round instead of Marcus Thames in the $5 round?

[Brad Jansen]

Dearest John:

Yes, but the point here is that you were not offering those stiffs around like Andy with his Jhonny, nor were you critical of fellow owners for accepting players other than Peralta. Your motion for consideration is DENIED.

Judge Brad

[Andy Klein]

Professors get to be appellate judges, so Brad is hereby REVERSED and remanded with instructions to study more of Winick’s magazine’s and columns.

I offered up Coco and Jhonny. Coco is the relevant comparision to the miserable Nick Swisher. Jhonny should be compared to Cantu. And when you compare them, there numbers are exactly the same … except for Jhonny’s lower salary.

-Andy

PS: I hope Winick is keeping score on our bet as to who would have the better second half between Nick and Jhonny.

[Andy Klein]

I guess Professors also should use proper spelling and grammar.

So, amend the previous order so that “magazine’s” is “magazines” and “there” is “their”.

That is all!!

-Andy

[Author]

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