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Chicago, IL – In a stunning turn of events, Riptorns management has announced that Brad Lee Jansen, general manager of the Riptorns franchise and league gadfly has been relieved of day to day responsibilities. “We looked at the standings this morning and saw that our moribund franchise had slipped behind the Berliners for heaven’s sake. To our loyal fans and followers, we acknowledge that THAT is unacceptable.” said Connor Jansen, Riptorn CEO. “We also have been engaging in a thorough evaluation of Brad Lee’s rebuilding efforts and recognized that he has inexplicably focused on young relievers, a category of player identified by noted rotisserie expert Jeffrey Winick as being “extremely high risk”, said Connor. “Look, he’s a nice guy, a heck of a fine writer and a softie when it comes time for punishment. But, a business is a business and Brad Lee just isn’t getting the job done.” concluded the junior Jansen.
Word out of the Riptorn headquarters is that Brad Lee has been reassigned to latrine duty. An ever upbeat Brad Lee was heard singing while elbow deep in efforts to unplug a john this morning. The tune appeared to be “Putting on the Ritz” but the lyrics seemed to relate to baseball:
“If you’re blue and you don’t know what to do
and your team is filled with nothing but mutts,
Dreaming of the Putz…..”
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