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“It’s a sad, bitter and lonely Easter,” moaned Riptorn co-owner Brad Jansen. “The malls are closed, I’m all alone and broke and tickets are all sold out for every showing of Scary Movie 4–I have no way of getting my Carmen Electra fix today, and then I come home and read Jeff’s latest salvos against (i) the prospects I traded for and (ii) my remaining impact players such as Bonderman…I know I can make fun about Jeff’s ‘closer’ Dam Miceli and his 10.00 ERA, which is just a tick below Fernando Cabrera’s, but that cheapens the debate and that’s not what I’m about…
“So, I’ve had time to reflect today, while I waited in line at the McDonald’s drive-thru for my Easter supper, and I realized that yes I do have a purpose here, a reason to live, and that’s simply to be Jeff Winick’s personal punching bag. If that’s what God had in store for me, then so be it. It seems like only yesterday, when I met Jeff for lunch and he handed me a roster and said, ‘Brad Lee, my boy, you will inherit the 3rd best retention roster in the USML this year–what a way to come back–you have my Word that this deal is done, especially when the guys all know it’s you coming back…and it seems like just a while back when Jeff said, ‘Sorry about no retention roster but good move getting guys like Bonderman and Wily Mo, Brad, these guys will either be great keepers or wonderful trade bait, you’re almost as smart as me with this strategy of yours…’
“…so life can and does go on for me, even though my players are either on the DL, in the minors or on Jeff’s Hit List, but I’ll survive–hey, Walgreen’s is open ain’t it…maybe they’re selling some glue…”
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