[USML Announce] Liriano Under Knife, Winick Under Gun, Berliners Under Bus (AZ Dispatch)

[Brad Jansen]

The Berliners' nascent championship hopes for 2007 took a nosedive when news
sources confirmed that flamethrower Francisco Liriano will be lost for the
year.

"The Question now is: Garza at $23?" pondered Jeffrey Winick as he selected
his favorite sun screen before ducking into a cabana at his secret
Scottsdale resort, steeling himself for a long evening of fantasy baseball,
cigars, credit card slips and plausible denials.

"Bottom line is without Liriano my ship is rudderless, but I really can't
worry about him now," proclaimed Winick, a few hours from being crowned the
King of the XFL Xperts Fantasy League (*see *fantasyexperts.com for details
of Winick's winning ways, but make sure children and intolerant spouses are
not near the computer).  "Now please, leave me be. I must get this robe
shortened and this staff is way too long.  Ooohh, look, there's Ron
Shandler!  Where did he buy* that* thong?!"
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