[USML Announce] Teahan Is Believin': Gordon Era Looms in KC

[Brad Jansen]

As Jeffrey Winick predicted almost 2 mid-term elections ago, the Alex Gordon
Epoch could very well begin as early as Opening Day 2007.

"It's right there, in black in white, in today's KC Star...assuming Teahan
can even raise his arm by spring training, he'll be long-tossing from the OF
because the Time has come to let Alex Gordon assume the 3B job and ravage
American League pitching," moaned Mr. Winick as he scraped his sun-burnt
flesh from his thong lines.

"And I kid you not, fair competitors, there are plenty of sleeping giants on
that Rips' roster, starting with Kendry Morales and Nelson Cruz...One can
only hope such mashers are traded off that team by springtime. For now my
only hope is to structure  a deal that gets me back Andy Marte (14-year1)
from the Rips, who clearly don't need him with young Alex on board.

"But enough about the Rips. I cannot *wait *to tell all about my Scottsdale
weekend, as soon as I clear the manuscript with my publisher and lawyers.
It's only for the strong of stomach, so Doug, you may want to leave the
room..."
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