[USML Announce] USML Holds First-Ever Combined Bat Miztva/WinterMeetings/Draft

[Doug Shabelman]

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----- Original Message -----
From: announce-bounces at usml.net <announce-bounces at usml.net>
To: announce at usml.net <announce at usml.net>
Sent: Sat Dec 06 22:35:36 2008
Subject: [USML Announce] USML Holds First-Ever Combined Bat Miztva/WinterMeetings/Draft

December 6, 2008, Northbrook, IL.


The USML broke with tradition this year, holding its first-ever combined Bat Mitzva, winter meetings and draft.  In a hastily convened meeting, co-commissioners Rich Robbins, Mark Blocker and Jeff Winick ruled that, due to continuing problems in resolving Draft Day scheduling, an ad hoc super-meeting approach best suited the needs of the league.  League maven Winick explained, "It was obvious that we could not avoid having multiple franchises draft from remote locations.  Under the circumstances, it seemed best to go forward today, which was the only date on which more than half the league was available." 

The unique approach required the commissioners to act as Draft Day proxies for several absent franchises, but all present agreed that the outcome was "fair and balanced," in keeping with the standard long advocated by long-time league curmudgeon Buddha Strotman.  The most dramatic moment of the draft came when free agent C.C. Sabathia went to the Riptorns (headed by Winick, bidding on behalf of owner Brad Jansen) for a league record $67, after a protracted bidding war between with the Klein Nine (represented by Blocker, on behalf of owner Andy Klein).  Both the 'Torns and the Nine ultimately spent more than $200 on starting pitchers.  Blocker was philosophical.  "When the 'Torns and the Nine both went with the 'all K's all the time' strategy, it was inevitable that we'd miss out on one or two punch-out artists.  But with Clay Buchholz ($35) and Scott Kazmir ($55), I think the Nine will be a force anyway."
 
Perhaps the most radical strategy was used by the Lake Michigan Calamari (with Robbins acting on behalf of owner Jim Barrett), who bought every available closer and spent only $16 on position players.  Asked to comment on the approach, Robbins simply noted, "I can't believe I gave up Jacoby Ellsbury and Jon Lester for a close-up view of Doug Shableman's butt."

As expected, Strotman has his own, unique view of the proceedings.  "The surge is working," he opined, declining to explain what that had to do with the draft results, recent unemployment figures or stock market performance.

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