[USML Announce] USML Holds First-Ever Combined Bat Miztva/Winter Meetings/Draft

[Brad Jansen]

Which raises an interesting trivia question for the League Historians:
  Just what *are *the highest draft day prices paid for (i) starting
pitcher, (ii) closer, (iii) offensive player and (iv) close-up view of Doug
Shabelman's butt?
Regards,
Bailout Brad


On 12/6/08, springkerb at aol.com <springkerb at aol.com> wrote:
>
> December 6, 2008, Northbrook, IL.
>
>
>
> The USML broke with tradition this year, holding its first-ever combined
> Bat Mitzva, winter meetings and draft.  In a hastily convened meeting,
> co-commissioners Rich Robbins, Mark Blocker and Jeff Winick ruled that, due
> to continuing problems in resolving Draft Day scheduling, an ad hoc
> super-meeting approach best suited the needs of the league.  League maven
> Winick explained, "It was obvious that we could not avoid having multiple
> franchises draft from remote locations.  Under the circumstances, it seemed
> best to go forward today, which was the only date on which more than half
> the league was available."
>
> The unique approach required the commissioners to act as Draft Day proxies
> for several absent franchises, but all present agreed that the outcome was
> "fair and balanced," in keeping with the standard long advocated by
> long-time league curmudgeon Buddha Strotman.  The most dramatic moment of
> the draft came when free agent C.C. Sabathia went to the Riptorns (headed by
> Winick, bidding on behalf of owner Brad Jansen) for a league record $67,
> after a protracted bidding war between with the Klein Nine (represented by
> Blocker, on behalf of owner Andy Klein).  Both the 'Torns and the Nine
> ultimately spent more than $200 on starting pitchers.  Blocker was
> philosophical.  "When the 'Torns and the Nine both went with the 'all K's
> all the time' strategy, it was inevitable that we'd miss out on one or two
> punch-out artists.  But with Clay Buchholz ($35) and Scott Kazmir ($55), I
> think the Nine will be a force anyway."
>
> Perhaps the most radical strategy was used by the Lake Michigan Calamari
> (with Robbins acting on behalf of owner Jim Barrett), who bought every
> available closer and spent only $16 on position players.  Asked to comment
> on the approach, Robbins simply noted, "I can't believe I gave up Jacoby
> Ellsbury and Jon Lester for a close-up view of Doug Shableman's butt."
>
>
> As expected, Strotman has his own, unique view of the proceedings.  "The
> surge is working," he opined, declining to explain what that had to do with
> the draft results, recent unemployment figures or stock market performance.
>
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