[USML Announce] Today's Spring Training Update

[Jeffrey Winick]

After noting that two of our league members (and you know who you are) 
are so out of touch with USML 2011 that you couldn't tell the 
difference between a Riptorn retention roster and a now-defunct Buddha 
retention roster, I feel it incumbent upon me as the reigning champion 
to provide a little assistance.  Therefore, as a public service I will 
be offering key updates regarding players who are (or at least should 
be) under consideration for retention.

Information will be evaluated on the basis of its potential impact on 
the player's performance in 2011.  Impact ranges from Nada to Mucho to 
Oy Vey


1.  Brian Matusz has wart removed - will miss his next start.  
Potential Impact - Nada
2.  Rangers' Neftali Feliz makes start - audition for starting rotation 
well underway.  Potential Impcat - Mucho
3.  Koji Uehara gets cortisone shot - ouch! although Uehara proclaims 
it no big deal.  Potential Impact - Oy Vey
4.  Adrian Beltre won't miss Opening Day - but he will be out as long 
as a month.  Potential Impact - Mucho

Bottom line - a tough day for the Klein Nine.  Hey, at least he'll be 
out of his misery early this year.

More to follow.

The King